This summer i fell in love; a fairytale love, like the kind u read about. i was cinderella. he came to rescue me. Every day I spent with him I talked his ear off; intellectualizing analyzing, romanticizing my words until I drove him crazy and he told me not to think so much. Then we listened to Stevie Wonder and I sang to him until the songs belonged to us. And now when I hear them they bring back his scent.
I fell in love with his body this summer; so exposed and untrammeled. I traveled every part of him. See, this summer I went exploring. I saw deserts and forests and mountains and oceans. I became a painter this summer, so inspired by him. and i touched him with hands of a sculptor. Until i had him memorized.
i fell in love with the ache and the agony. the broken promises I fell in love with his temper and his rage because I wanted to fix it. I fell in love with the walls he had built around himself because I was convinced I could reach him. Or changed him. Or teach him to love. Who am I to think I could teach someone to love?
Who am I to venture through the cold extinct meteorite inside his chest- a man too proud to love. A man too scared to feel. A man too selfish to change. A man who really isn’t such a man at all. Who got scared like a little boy when I tried to love him.. A boy who never learned how to love

This summer he loved himself too much, and his pride, and his liquor, and his dick too much, and had left no room in him to love me.
he said “I’m gone.”

And I whispered “Come back my love” but he was already outside.

This summer I was a traveler, and a painter.

And fell in love a thousand times,

with one little boy.

now Autumn has come to break my heart.

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